Rin in Wonderland
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Below are the 4 most recent journal entries recorded in the "Rin-Rin" journal:
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04:13 pm
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Pagan musings, numero deux
You know.. one thing I've noticed with alot of pagans is this whole "change" thing. And I'm not saying change is a bad thing, but its when they start talking about how we can't become attached to material things, that we have to throw ourselves to the mercy of Fate or whatever you want to call it, and constantly change at every chance that comes along.
For me, that seems foolish. I'm a Taurus; I love material things. When I get a house I want it to be my place of 'peace and zen'. I want to build a HOME; a place where I am going to STAY for a long time and be welcome. I don't want to move the furniture every month, suffer through earthquakes or hurricanes, or move 10 times a year. I want stability, I want things to stay the same a few times. I want to moon over that pretty golden statue of Aphrodite and I want a big ass comfy couch with a big ass tv screen to curl up on friday nights and watch movies, instead of running around outside screaming my head off the sky sometimes. Sometimes I want that.
I can't comprehend someone who moves like that. Those are wind people, who fly wherever they please; those are water people, whose moods and fancies change whatever they wish; those are fire people, who move onto greener pastures when the fire is no longer there. But thats not an earth person: we are hardy, strong, and stable. We don't want to flow away sometimes. Sometimes we want to relax on the beach and enjoy the sun for a little while, either in the sand or on a towel. We want long standing friends who will be with us through thick and thin; not several friends from different aspects of our lives. Sometimes we want to surround ourselves with things that make us comfortable.
It is the negative Earth person that buys shiny, impractical things to make them feel good, hoping it will (but it won't). Its the practical and positive Earth person (aka Taurus) that surrounds themselves with quality but practical objects; like say a blanket that looks good but offers comfort and warmth. And why do we get the response "Obviously the universe/fate/whatever trying to help teach you a lesson: things move on." Well I'm going to march up to that universe and tell him or her that blanket cost me a helluva lot of money and I want it back. Earth people, especially Tauruses, do not take for granted what is working well in their lives. At least, that is, when we're not going into our "negative" phases.
Why is it so wrong to be an earth person?
Tags: musing, paganism
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12:07 am
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Mmh.
I kind of found it amusing that today, the day that I had gotten no sleep the night before and about 2 and a half hours later than afternoon, eating pretty much little at all, and then going to hang out at my boyfriend's with his other friend to play video games..
That eating some grapes made my day better. I smiled happily and thought about the coincidence.
I need to enjoy life more. That I have friends that I can share things with and not keep them all locked up inside.
That is all. :)
Current Mood:  wired
Tags: dionysos, musing
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06:36 pm
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Clipped nails, soft demeanor
I feel like a de-clawed cat; small and just waiting to be attacked. There is no longer a bite behind my bark, so now have I sit here and ponder my strange exile, learning to not snap at the slightest annoyance or retort snappishly at the stupidest thing that could flow between lips.
I have to think, truely think, of how hurtful my words can be. And then I can learn and change and grow. And perhaps I will learn how to handle my claws when they re-grow.
If not, then they are cut away again.
Current Mood:  contemplative
Tags: musing
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12:39 am
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Hm.
So I figure I have about a few weeks before I dengenerate into a mindless, nervous wreck of a person.
Know something: When you feel dead inside, and that life is not worth living, the person that said they would love you forever and would never leave you means it. Don't question it; go with it. And when you said it back, you didn't lie. You felt the exact same way.
After awhile you start feeling again. You start living and watching life grow and change and die and be reborn around you. And then you'll wonder what the fuck you were on that made you think that way, why would you want to die? Why would you want to give everything up?
Remember that and hold it close. Closer than anything.
Tags: musing
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